What are Feminist Goals?

One article actually finally tells me what feminist goals are.
1. Men are accountable for rape
2. Gender equality in the classroom

Gender equality in the classroom - no brainer, I'm there. I am so there I believe in true equality. The ultimate goal is no special treatment. No quotas. Have I gone too far?

On principle I don't disagree with men are accountable for rape. There's more nuance to it.

Dena's Rape
So Jacob moves to a new place. Dena, the only daughter mentioned with his 12 sons, decides to check out the new town. She comes across a bunch of guys at the local hangout. The town leader has sex with her. Dena was independant and had something special. Independant because she ventured out on her own - her brother's always did. And had something special because the town leader wanted to marry her. In an Orthodox Jewish Day School, we learned it was rape. Her family finds out and the town leader tells her father that he wants to marry her. Jacobs says he can marry her only if he agrees to circumcision. The town leader not only agrees, but requires every man in the town to undergo the operation. While the town is recovering from the operation, Dena's brothers, Shimeon and Levi murdered everyone in the town. Jacob was not pleased that his son's defamed his word that on his deathbed he mentioned the crime and did not bless them as he did his other sons.

We brushed over this and many other stories in 4th grade. We revisited it in highschool. By that time my opinions were set. We were told to dress modestly because boys may desire you. I felt it was their problem. We shouldn't go out in strange neighborhoods unescorted. Excuse me - if a guy can do it I can do it.

Yes, we have to change the system. It's been around for 3000 years. We've made some progress in the western world. We have a way to go. If it was up to me - everything would be gender neutral. I saw a Star Trek episode on that. It didn't work out so well. But I still believe it. Perhaps, we should look east.

Back to cutie face - She will be going to an egalitarian Jewish School. I hope she will learn torah, talmud and philosphy as I did. She needs to learn enough to think for herself and be her own person.

Bitchfest

Yesterday I roller-bladed to the Nyack Library to see if they had The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennett. They didn't - it's on order. I walked away with 3 books, Bitchfest - 10 years of of Bitch magazine - 1996- 2005, You're Wearing That - converstaions between mother and daughters, and (I can't remember the third about the joys of stay at home women)

I somehow missed Bitch Magazine. I was busy working on the Enron account and falling in love with financial matters. Yes, the web allowed me to do my first stock trade and I loved tracking companies and making money.

I started reading the Mother Daughter book and put it down after the first chapter. I took Bitchfest with me on the train. I feel like I missed out on Bitch Mag. But I think if I had it instead of the WSF and FT, I wouldn't be where I am today.

When I was 18, I got a fundraising mailer from ERAmerica. They were an organization to extend the passage of the Equal Right Amendment for another three years. I didn't have any money so I sent an letter asking to be a summer intern at their Washington, DC offices. That summer, 1981, President Reagan nominated Sandra Day O'Conner to the Supreme Court. This was a highlight of my summer. I called the State offices in AZ and spoke with her secretary. I reported back she was one of us. And as history has shown - she was pretty close to me. I've moved a little left with the latest Supreme Court. Now I identify with Ginsberg.

I realized that summer that the women in the office still really wanted a husband. I found a boyfriend (law clerk) within two weeks of being in WDC. I was also surprised they were so into Diana's wedding that summer. I couldn't have cared less. I even thought Diana's dress was downright ugly. So not aa fashion girl.

Playing Softball on the mall that summer and working DNC parties, I noticed a particular Congresswomen making all the rounds. I was doing the party thing and she was everywhere. I wanted to come back to WDC to be with my BF and to work for her on Capital Hill. I was selected to be an intern for Geraldine Ferraro. I didn't really like her. We parted ways before my internship was over. However, her AA got me an internship at the DNC. I was a decent softball player and being female actually helped.

As I read Bitchfest I will be adding ruminations. Mainly about who I am and how I want to raise of my daughter. She's 2-1/2 now and into the princess thing. I grew up in the 60's and always hated the fact that girls and boys were treated differently. My tomboy passion of the 70's and 80's stems from this inequality. I hoped it would have changed by now. It hasn't.

On Vacation - Always

Living in Nyack is like being at your vacation house all the time. The train ride Hudson River view to and from Tarrytown is magnificent. You get a seat. Everyone is nice. It's spectacular. And even going over the Tappen Zee bridge makes it feel like an out of the way destination.

The other thing that make's it feel like vacation is that it takes me 1-1/2 hours to get to work. I've been doing a lot of reading and knitting.

Reading is always brings memories. First I was reading about a retail investment group with the chairman's name reminding me of a girl I went to high school with. Second, an old boyfriend was being interviewed by Malcolm Gladwell. (I'm in the middle of Blink). My thoughts on Malcolm Gladwell is that he makes content interesting to read. The term I give it is bubblegum reading. It tastes great when you first start - but quickly loses flavor.

Anyway, as soon as I got back to the office I watched the interview online. The old boyfriend's biotech went public. (He was working on the start up when we started dating.) I'm so glad I married Paulo. Life's now an endless vacation. At least until winter.

The Subway

This week I've been driving with Paulo to get to the Rt 4 Spanish bus in NJ. The Spanish buses are pretty amazing. They come every 5 minutes and zip through traffic. I then take the subway A train from 175th street to 42nd and transfer to the uptown E. I'm back on the subway again. Except for people standing in the doorway as you enter or exit it's not that bad. Still they stand on both sides of the escalator not allowing anyone to walk up on the right.

I've been doing MetroNorth then the TOR bus for the way home. Much nicer and faster if I get a lift from the bus stop. If not, I have to walk a mile home.

We've been eating dinner on our patio at night. Paulo is almost finished with the playground and the plants we started this weekend from seeds are sprouting.

It's not bad.

Civilized

MetroNorth is SO civilized. I think everyone who rides it knows that you stand to the right on an escalator to let the walkers pass on the left. That basically means that MetroNorth passengers are well-travelled.

The Door to Office Chair in 90 mins

The commute is getting easier. Today I left the house at 6:40 and rollerbladed to the bus stop to catch the 6:55. It took 12 mins to get to the Tarrytown station. All I know is that we arrived in GCT at 8 and I was in my office at 8:10. That's the best it's gonna get.

Walking and Rollerblading

Today I rollerbladed to the bus stop. Yesterday I walked. It's good to get a little exercise when you are commuting 3 hours a day.

Actually living in the burbs is a good thing. Who would have known? Of course we are a mile from a cute town. It would be better if there was only a train and no bus to and from the train. Yesterday Paulo stopped at the pizza store for dinner with cutey face. I met them when I got off the bus. Then jump in the car and we're home in a flash. No looking for parking on NYC streets, no dropoff and then look for parking. Pull right up to the house, get out, go in. We even came home to deer and geese. Note to world. A small house with nice property is the way to go.

Parking Signage

Paulo stayed home today to wait for the delivery of the swing set. I drove to town and parked my car on the street about 3 blocks from the bus stop. I'm a little nervous. There was a sign that said "No Parking from Here to the Corner" and across the street it said "No Parking on This Side". So I Parked on the "No Parking from Here to the Corner" side away from the corner.
Parking Management. There must be a class in urban studies about it. Parking rules are so random. Remember Ed Koch "Don't Even think of Parking Here". That at least had conviction. No Parking Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays between 3am-6am. Permit Parking only. Parking allowed on Sunday.

The commute is long 95mins door-to-door. A fellow Nyack commuter said that once there was an aggressive bus driver and he managed to meet the 8:19 train. This week we hit the 8:35 train twice, the 8:58 and 8:48 once. There is only 1 bus from Nyack an hour. I may need to change that. Property values will increase. But then again - Think Robbins Rest at our Fire Island House - the residents didn't want the ferry.

Old-timers...

I Found My Commute

Finally, I found the best way to get to the city and back.
The 8am bus from town to the 8:33, 8:48 or 8:58 train to GCS. The train time depends on bus traffic over the Tappan Zee. We caught the 8:33 today with a little hustle.

I'm not sure how long I can keep this up. Being in a car or bus is maddening in traffic. I don't seem to mind if the train gets delayed - but traffic. phew.

Work is slow. It's silly for me to quit. They are supposed to close the NY office soon. They just are not telling me when. Being on the train makes you think. Today I figured out that my husband is the kind of person who does a lot of things. That's why he has a PhD in astrophysics, renovates a kitchen or bathroom himself, has many hobbies, and generally gets things done. I on the other hand do only what I what to do - the least amount of work for the most gain. For example, I was an A student in Math, Science and History. I didn't have to study because I had great teachers. I wasn't great at English. Bad teachers.
Again in college - Political Science with great teachers.

In my work life it's pretty much the same. I enjoy going on interviews because I learn new stuff and get to talk about myself. I get the job 50% of the time. If I like the boss, I will bring in enough business to pay my teams salaries and overhead and 30% profit. I'm that good. Right now at work I'm just waiting it out. The boss is never here and is probably delivering 70% profit. I sort of think that is stealing. He fired everyone here and I'm doing their jobs. I could bring in more business using my 3/3 rule, but there is no direct benefit to me.

So I'm just cruising. Pushing paper, offering opinions, getting paid. But the commute is so ....

New Commute

Yesterday I took my daughter to the Israel Day Parade using my weekly bus/train pass. No bus service to the train on Sunday. I drove to the Tarrytown parking lot. Driving over the Tappan Zee bridge is heart pounding.

So I'm trying something new. The car to the bus to the train. I parked at the "Park and Ride". I missed my first bus at 7:56. The next bus was 8:48. Hello, there's a bus every 20 mins at 6am to 7:56. This is not going to work. Tonight when I get home I will investigate the Nyack bus stop information. I'm looking for bike rack.

The Very Nice TOR Bus Driver

My commute home consists of Metro North Bus to Tarrytown then the TappanZ bus to Nyack. You are supposed to get off the train and the bus is right there. I get on the TappanZ bus and it drops everyone off at the mall parking lot. Now I know where the commuter parking lot is. However, I left my phone at home and I'm stranded. I asked the bus driver how to get to Nyack from here. He checked the bus and said he would drive me to the Nyack bus stop. I'm learning the mass transit of Rockland County. It's called TOR. Next week I will try the weekly commuter pass. I get to drive my new car. I don't think I will ever get used to this.