I Love Vitamin Water

The first time I had V Water was a few days before I went into labor with cutie face. The midwife said I needed to drink something with sugar for energy. Since I'd been off sugar for over a year, I couldn't bear to think of drinking something with sugar. In fact, when I had to drink that gross orange soda that tests for gestational diabetes, I got nauseas and left that OBGYN.
Reason #1: If I had gestational diabetes they would tell me not to eat sugar. And since I wasn’t eating sugar the whole thing was stupid.
Reason #2: I did not have any of the signs of potentially having it.
Back to Vitamin Water.
So I drank a watered down VW during labor and continued to drink a watered down version thereafter. The only problem is that I have to buy it, drink some and then water it down. But those first few cold sips are delious.
They even have a new flavor – XXX blueberry, pomegranate and acai.
I sold my coca cola stock when I was off sugar. Too bad I didn’t keep it for when they got smart and bought V Water. Just looking for an entry point., but I’m afraid they will change the ingredients to make it cheaper to manufacture. Like all corps do.

Back on the Subway - Drafts folder

I had the joy of riding the nyc subway out to Queens. Boy there are very ugly people out there. I got on a car with a sleeping man. That actually didn't bother me. What put a dagger through my heart was the fat assed, gum chewing broad who took up 2 seats and didn't make room for the old, sick lady who got on the train.

I got up from my seat to give the lady and asked the fat ugly toad to move over so I could sit down. She got up and move to a seat with coffee and danish squashed on the floor. She wanted nothing to do we me.

The real ugliness was that several other riders started joking with her about me. They just didn't get it. If you're near 40 with a family living in a $1,000,000 two bedroom apartment it's only a small

Shul Moms

I have to say that I really like the moms I met in my new Synagogue. They are different from the stay-at-home moms I got to spend time with in the city. Perhaps that's because they all sort of do something else than being a social secretary for their child. Also, they all have good help. The key to a happy and interesting mom is good help. We learned that from "To Hell With All That".

The Synagogue is equalitarian, so boys and girls are treated the same. This is where I want to be. Not girls grow up to be moms.

I haven't met the moms from Aliza's new school/camp. But my first experience was pretty awful. Within 1 minute of waiting for school to open, a mom said "my baby is at home" and "look at tinkerbell on that girls crocs". The stay at home mother syndrome. However, there was one mom who said - see you when I get home from work.

A Woman Without a Place

So I'm reading A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut. Wow. For my last will and testiment in my high school yearbook I was left "Monicaland". I too was and am without a country. Nor do I have a place.
Being Jewish I do have a homeland if I ever have to leave the US. And when it comes to humanity they do a better job than we do here. They have humanity as a guiding principle. There are a few bad apples, but nothing like the rest of the world. Their wars are based on survival not profits. And even their prison system filled with real terrorists is actually humane.

I don't know why everyone picks on this little country. It's smaller than the size of New Jersey. OK Israel's 3 million people to buy our products vs the arab world of 50 million people who will buy Coke. The flip side is that they will never recognize women as equals.

Kurt should have been Jewish. He would have fit right in with most of us.

Doctor

Yesterday we were supposed to take Cutie Face to camp. She woke up with a fever. I was a little concerned because she had many mosquito bites from the beach last week - and a fever the following week can be serious.

I looked at my medical insurance and found a doctor nearby. The receptionist/nurse was great. I said it wasn't an emergency, but thought it might be a good time to find a new doctor. She said to come in that afternoon.

So unlike the city doctor staff. She was really nice and smart. She made me feel comfortable. Even when we saw the doctor - there was no wait. (The other pediatic practice we accidently stumbled into was crowded).

And when I was at a restuarant for lunch with my friend who came in from the big city while the new babysitter was watching CF, I bumped into my new friend.

I Made a Friend

Finally,
I connected with another mom. She's from Long Island just like me. She's a vegy sort of like me. And she likes walking and doesn't need to plan months in advance. She called me Sunday night and we went walking 10 minutes later. Did I tell you she lives near me.

The Big Idea

I find it fasinating that everytime friends comes with us to our beach house they ask for help in marketing there big idea. Last year it was an idea for a TV show. This year is was a children's toy. I give some advice. And always add that an idea is 5% there. The other 95% to make it reality is work.

If you are in a company, you can pitch your idea internally and may get support to do it. This was the Enron model of innovation. It got them in trouble because I think there were a lot of half-baked ideas and nobody who could or wanted to do the 95%. I remember seeing one business plan and thinking - I would never invest a dime in this idea - no money to be made. There was also another idea that I didn't understand - nor could they give me a business plan to read - they just wanted us to market it. However, there was one idea I loved. It was August 2001 - the beginning of the end.

That!

What's up with "THAT" word. I'm reading several things with "that" in the title. Starting with a Blog "This, That and the Mother Things". Followed by "To Hell with All That" and "Your Wearing That".

OK my reading is solidly invested in female issues. Most of it is whining. Then again, I think most everthing is a whine. I know many people who do it.

I once saw a Sci Fi episode where there were no sexes. I liked it. Of course the story resulted in problems for us to see that you need both male and female. I didn't buy it.

Otherwise the weekend was uneventful. We stayed around the house, cutie face played in her new blow up pool, Paulo bought a BBQ, I bought curtains for our beach house. To look at it we a pathetically typical unover scheduled family. But there's nothing typical about us. We don't adhere to the too many things to do theory that adds purpose to your life. It would have been nice to have one friend over for cutie face. I guess that's why people have several children - so they can play together and stay our of the parents way.

And that is what I have to say today.

A View From the Bridge

You can see the NYC from the Tappen Zee Bridge. I usually don't look out the window because I get motion sickness. But the quick glance it was spectacular. Not as good as the view from Brooklyn. That's "so close yet so far away". This view is "far away yet so close".

I'm deep into reading "To Hell with All That". While I'm reading it I want to wear a t-shirt that says "I'm also reading "Bitchfest" . I think she makes a lot of valid points. In fact, I can think of one that is covered in this blog. To be a good Mom one must be a social secretary to the children. To be a good wife one must have a clean house. Those reasons alone made me go back to work.

So what exactly is a good wife / good husband / good marriage. On a scale from 1-5 with 5 being the highest I will ask. As for the good husband - I give him a 4+ . I think I'd get a 3-. He not only makes more than I do. He cleans more than I do. And does more childcare than I do. He also builds things, mows the lawn (although I sometimes do that.) He's super human.

It's really just division of labor. I'm much better at doing nothing. I don't even like to shop. Oh there is one thing I take responsibility - food and the kitchen. We eat healthy. I like to know what I'm eating and, therefore, make things from scratch.

Stuff

I just started the "stay at home moms" book called - "To Hell With All That". It's really pathetic. The first chapter is about the Big White Wedding. How girls want it so much and how wedding people exploit them. It's really pretty pathetic.

The funny thing is that the recent college girls I know are nothing like the "To Hell With All That". The 30 somethings are. The 20 somethings are trying to save the world.

When I agreed to marry Paulo the deal was no diamond ring, no big wedding, no presents and I want a beach house. He thought he got lucky. Ha. It's really much easier to buy jewelry as a gift "to make their wives lives worth living" than to actually be useful in helping around the house. I don't like cleaning, I don't like eating. I like doing stuff I don't have to do.

The reality is that I simultanously want nothing and too much. I don't like stuff. I value the freedom to do the things I want to do. I value people who do things for me that I'd rather not do myself. I don't value people who buy things for me that I could buy myself if I really wanted it.

But there's something going on here. I don't know what the cutey face generation (not yet named) will be. It will be related to the turn of the century generation. I hope our new home has multi-dimensional parents. I found that lacking in most parents I met in the city. Of course, the parents that were multi-dimensional were probably out working. But all-in-all there was this obsession with all things for the kids. That's what I have an issue with. Every waking moment is about what else can we buy/go to for our children.

I'm guilty of some of it because it's the easy way. But on reflection, cutey face does just as well living in my adult life with me as a partner rather than at the Disney Store. There has to be a balance. We may have lost it.

What are Feminist Goals?

One article actually finally tells me what feminist goals are.
1. Men are accountable for rape
2. Gender equality in the classroom

Gender equality in the classroom - no brainer, I'm there. I am so there I believe in true equality. The ultimate goal is no special treatment. No quotas. Have I gone too far?

On principle I don't disagree with men are accountable for rape. There's more nuance to it.

Dena's Rape
So Jacob moves to a new place. Dena, the only daughter mentioned with his 12 sons, decides to check out the new town. She comes across a bunch of guys at the local hangout. The town leader has sex with her. Dena was independant and had something special. Independant because she ventured out on her own - her brother's always did. And had something special because the town leader wanted to marry her. In an Orthodox Jewish Day School, we learned it was rape. Her family finds out and the town leader tells her father that he wants to marry her. Jacobs says he can marry her only if he agrees to circumcision. The town leader not only agrees, but requires every man in the town to undergo the operation. While the town is recovering from the operation, Dena's brothers, Shimeon and Levi murdered everyone in the town. Jacob was not pleased that his son's defamed his word that on his deathbed he mentioned the crime and did not bless them as he did his other sons.

We brushed over this and many other stories in 4th grade. We revisited it in highschool. By that time my opinions were set. We were told to dress modestly because boys may desire you. I felt it was their problem. We shouldn't go out in strange neighborhoods unescorted. Excuse me - if a guy can do it I can do it.

Yes, we have to change the system. It's been around for 3000 years. We've made some progress in the western world. We have a way to go. If it was up to me - everything would be gender neutral. I saw a Star Trek episode on that. It didn't work out so well. But I still believe it. Perhaps, we should look east.

Back to cutie face - She will be going to an egalitarian Jewish School. I hope she will learn torah, talmud and philosphy as I did. She needs to learn enough to think for herself and be her own person.

Feminism and all that

I'm halfway through Bitchfest. Sometimes there are articles of interest to me and some I just skip after the first two paragraphs.
I'm not sure exactly were I fit in. I've been trying to raise my daughter gender neutral. I thought this would be easy. I liked sports and hated not to be able to play on the jewish orthodox little league team. We changed that and I got to play. The Congressional League softball teams require that there will be 3 women on each team. That rule keeps it non-serious and fun. Although I generally don't like quotas, I do believe they have redeeming factors. My daughter does not have my sports gene. At least not yet. She likes nail polish and dresses. I'm hoping when we switch schools it will all change.

I'm glad I'm reading it. I thought I knew what a feminist was and I thought I was one of them. No one knows what it is and there are only bad associations with the F word. They actually need a compelling issue to stay relevant. Pro Women is a lot of things. They need to become relevant. They need an issue no rational person will argue with. I have to think about that.

Bitchfest

Yesterday I roller-bladed to the Nyack Library to see if they had The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennett. They didn't - it's on order. I walked away with 3 books, Bitchfest - 10 years of of Bitch magazine - 1996- 2005, You're Wearing That - converstaions between mother and daughters, and (I can't remember the third about the joys of stay at home women)

I somehow missed Bitch Magazine. I was busy working on the Enron account and falling in love with financial matters. Yes, the web allowed me to do my first stock trade and I loved tracking companies and making money.

I started reading the Mother Daughter book and put it down after the first chapter. I took Bitchfest with me on the train. I feel like I missed out on Bitch Mag. But I think if I had it instead of the WSF and FT, I wouldn't be where I am today.

When I was 18, I got a fundraising mailer from ERAmerica. They were an organization to extend the passage of the Equal Right Amendment for another three years. I didn't have any money so I sent an letter asking to be a summer intern at their Washington, DC offices. That summer, 1981, President Reagan nominated Sandra Day O'Conner to the Supreme Court. This was a highlight of my summer. I called the State offices in AZ and spoke with her secretary. I reported back she was one of us. And as history has shown - she was pretty close to me. I've moved a little left with the latest Supreme Court. Now I identify with Ginsberg.

I realized that summer that the women in the office still really wanted a husband. I found a boyfriend (law clerk) within two weeks of being in WDC. I was also surprised they were so into Diana's wedding that summer. I couldn't have cared less. I even thought Diana's dress was downright ugly. So not aa fashion girl.

Playing Softball on the mall that summer and working DNC parties, I noticed a particular Congresswomen making all the rounds. I was doing the party thing and she was everywhere. I wanted to come back to WDC to be with my BF and to work for her on Capital Hill. I was selected to be an intern for Geraldine Ferraro. I didn't really like her. We parted ways before my internship was over. However, her AA got me an internship at the DNC. I was a decent softball player and being female actually helped.

As I read Bitchfest I will be adding ruminations. Mainly about who I am and how I want to raise of my daughter. She's 2-1/2 now and into the princess thing. I grew up in the 60's and always hated the fact that girls and boys were treated differently. My tomboy passion of the 70's and 80's stems from this inequality. I hoped it would have changed by now. It hasn't.

On Vacation - Always

Living in Nyack is like being at your vacation house all the time. The train ride Hudson River view to and from Tarrytown is magnificent. You get a seat. Everyone is nice. It's spectacular. And even going over the Tappen Zee bridge makes it feel like an out of the way destination.

The other thing that make's it feel like vacation is that it takes me 1-1/2 hours to get to work. I've been doing a lot of reading and knitting.

Reading is always brings memories. First I was reading about a retail investment group with the chairman's name reminding me of a girl I went to high school with. Second, an old boyfriend was being interviewed by Malcolm Gladwell. (I'm in the middle of Blink). My thoughts on Malcolm Gladwell is that he makes content interesting to read. The term I give it is bubblegum reading. It tastes great when you first start - but quickly loses flavor.

Anyway, as soon as I got back to the office I watched the interview online. The old boyfriend's biotech went public. (He was working on the start up when we started dating.) I'm so glad I married Paulo. Life's now an endless vacation. At least until winter.

Getting Around - Drafts Folder 6/6/07

There is no Rockland County public transportation There is no way for me to use public transportation on Sunday to get from Nyack to Fire Island.